I Have Trust Issues and I’m Pushing My Boyfriend Away

The preoccupied-avoidant dynamic and scripts to change it!

Anxious Girlfriend writes,

I moved in with my boyfriend recently and our relationship is not going too well. I am 29 and he is 31, we have dated for two and a half years and lived together for two months. Prior to moving in together, we discussed engagement but he wants to put it off another year or two till he is financially more stable. Basically, I feel that he is not putting our relationship first. If he takes off work, it’s to hang out with friends, not to spend it with me. He isn’t much for housework or planning activities for us. I have had trust issues due to my ex cheating on me, and I’ve caught my boyfriend in a couple of small lies, and have also checked his phone a couple of times (I didn’t find anything). I don’t know if my anxiety is the issue or if he’s having trouble adjusting to living together. Please help, I don’t want to ruin this relationship if the issue is me.